SOCIAL DIFFERENCES PART I
I´ve been in Germany for just over a month now and I thought it would
be great to share my experience with everyone, and specifically focus
on the social differences between Germany and South Africa.
This is my personal opinion and experiences.
The first social/cultural shock is the reaction from people when you´re introduced to each other then you ask "how are you doing/wie geht´s?". The Germans have no sense of community or warmth which can be almost depressing if you don´t have friends and people you are familiar with.
Germans are very reserved but direct and don´t have time for small talk. They communicate what needs to be communicated and that´s it. This is obviously new to me because we communicate with everyone even the stranger you sit next to in the train, bus, taxi or home affairs line. We smile and laugh at anything and everything, invite strangers over to our table to join us for drinks, we have the biggest sense of humour and I believe we are alive, enthusiastic and excited about everything including being alive.
Germans do not speak English and they aren´t apologetic about it! I personally envy this because we have made English a measurement of intelligence or wealth so much that we even forget to embrace our own languages and culture. If you want to communicate or do business with German´s then you will have to learn their language, and they will meet you halfway when they hear that you´re trying but English could never be their general language.
Germans love reading! Almost every home I´ve been to in Germany has a living room/wohnzimmer that looks like a library. I know people that read a lot in South Africa and have libraries/cellars in their homes filled with encyclopedia´s and dictionaries but it´s nothing compared to the Germans – I even feel pressured to start buying books and making time for reading every morning or evening.
Family is everything here, and family time is family time! You would think this is a norm for us too but the German´s have a different kind of family time where it isn´t about just being home and watching TV or eating together but actual family time with the phones away, TV and radio off and just basking in the presence of your family.
The Germans have a different approach to wealth/money management. I usually go through my social media pages with Christian and he´ll see all the lovely gifts our African men buy for their beautiful wives or girlfriends, the lovely and expensive vacation pictures posted on Instagram, and the beautiful big homes we live in and the lifestyle we accustom ourselves to, and the assumption is that we clearly have and make truckloads of cash. German´s don´t play with money! Someone could be earning 12000 Euros per month and still live the most basic life in a 1 bedroom apartment, drive an old car, stay in backpackers when holidaying and still tell you that a 20 Euros meal is an expensive meal. I´m still trying to figure out how that works because all I need is to earn 1000 Euros a month then I´m going all out and living my best life!
Germany is obviously safer than South Africa, so safe that I can go for a walk in the forest across our home at midnight.
Consent is a big thing in Germany and the Germans respect personal space, whereas we just do as we please.
I did not think that silent parties were a possibility till I got to Germany. I cannot imagine someone hosting a braai back home and playing music on their TV (without surround sound) with the volume as low as it would be when you´re cooking Sunday lunch whilst listening to Metro FM. I´ve been to a party every weekend since arriving here and the loudest party I attended was Lauren´s party in the Netherlands but that was loud because we South Africans want to hear and feel the beat, and we laugh, talk and scream our lungs out at our parties. I´ve also learned there´s a relation between the amount of alcohol one consumes when there´s loud music and when there´s no music (sorry Germans, your parties have no music), and the effects of the alcohol in your system.
If someone invites you to coffee, lunch, dinner, their party or home, it is rude for you to show up empty handed but that doesn´t necessarily mean that you have to spend money on the gift. You could pick flowers from your garden or bring a few beers from your fridge or a packet of chips from your snack cupboard but DO NOT SHOW UP EMPTY HANDED and do not spend too much on the gift, which is opposite to us because if you buy a 10 Euro (R170/R180) gift for someone back home or bring any of the above to their home you´ll be considered a cheapskate.
Germans are all about equality, everything is 50/50 here. That´s different because we know that our African men take care of business (and all the bills) while we ladies help out where we want to help out. Chivalry is dead!
TIME is money here and it is rude to be 1 minute late! We have African time and I unfortunately still keep African time.
This is my personal opinion and experiences.
The first social/cultural shock is the reaction from people when you´re introduced to each other then you ask "how are you doing/wie geht´s?". The Germans have no sense of community or warmth which can be almost depressing if you don´t have friends and people you are familiar with.
Germans are very reserved but direct and don´t have time for small talk. They communicate what needs to be communicated and that´s it. This is obviously new to me because we communicate with everyone even the stranger you sit next to in the train, bus, taxi or home affairs line. We smile and laugh at anything and everything, invite strangers over to our table to join us for drinks, we have the biggest sense of humour and I believe we are alive, enthusiastic and excited about everything including being alive.
Germans do not speak English and they aren´t apologetic about it! I personally envy this because we have made English a measurement of intelligence or wealth so much that we even forget to embrace our own languages and culture. If you want to communicate or do business with German´s then you will have to learn their language, and they will meet you halfway when they hear that you´re trying but English could never be their general language.
Germans love reading! Almost every home I´ve been to in Germany has a living room/wohnzimmer that looks like a library. I know people that read a lot in South Africa and have libraries/cellars in their homes filled with encyclopedia´s and dictionaries but it´s nothing compared to the Germans – I even feel pressured to start buying books and making time for reading every morning or evening.
Family is everything here, and family time is family time! You would think this is a norm for us too but the German´s have a different kind of family time where it isn´t about just being home and watching TV or eating together but actual family time with the phones away, TV and radio off and just basking in the presence of your family.
The Germans have a different approach to wealth/money management. I usually go through my social media pages with Christian and he´ll see all the lovely gifts our African men buy for their beautiful wives or girlfriends, the lovely and expensive vacation pictures posted on Instagram, and the beautiful big homes we live in and the lifestyle we accustom ourselves to, and the assumption is that we clearly have and make truckloads of cash. German´s don´t play with money! Someone could be earning 12000 Euros per month and still live the most basic life in a 1 bedroom apartment, drive an old car, stay in backpackers when holidaying and still tell you that a 20 Euros meal is an expensive meal. I´m still trying to figure out how that works because all I need is to earn 1000 Euros a month then I´m going all out and living my best life!
Germany is obviously safer than South Africa, so safe that I can go for a walk in the forest across our home at midnight.
Consent is a big thing in Germany and the Germans respect personal space, whereas we just do as we please.
I did not think that silent parties were a possibility till I got to Germany. I cannot imagine someone hosting a braai back home and playing music on their TV (without surround sound) with the volume as low as it would be when you´re cooking Sunday lunch whilst listening to Metro FM. I´ve been to a party every weekend since arriving here and the loudest party I attended was Lauren´s party in the Netherlands but that was loud because we South Africans want to hear and feel the beat, and we laugh, talk and scream our lungs out at our parties. I´ve also learned there´s a relation between the amount of alcohol one consumes when there´s loud music and when there´s no music (sorry Germans, your parties have no music), and the effects of the alcohol in your system.
If someone invites you to coffee, lunch, dinner, their party or home, it is rude for you to show up empty handed but that doesn´t necessarily mean that you have to spend money on the gift. You could pick flowers from your garden or bring a few beers from your fridge or a packet of chips from your snack cupboard but DO NOT SHOW UP EMPTY HANDED and do not spend too much on the gift, which is opposite to us because if you buy a 10 Euro (R170/R180) gift for someone back home or bring any of the above to their home you´ll be considered a cheapskate.
Germans are all about equality, everything is 50/50 here. That´s different because we know that our African men take care of business (and all the bills) while we ladies help out where we want to help out. Chivalry is dead!
TIME is money here and it is rude to be 1 minute late! We have African time and I unfortunately still keep African time.
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